I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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