I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
