i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
