Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
