TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
