I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
