we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
