the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
