I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
