okay pat passed out under dana's car
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
