Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
