READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
