Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
