worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
