Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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