do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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