Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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