It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
