Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
