This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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