you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
