There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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