He kissed a someone with a penis
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
