How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
