I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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