My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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