Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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