I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize