I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
