the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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