im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
