Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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