I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
