she was so not down for the gang bang
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
