some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize