I am in a vortex of obligation.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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