did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
