She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
