yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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