i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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