There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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