im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
