So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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