I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
