am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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