If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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