oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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