I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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