some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
