Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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