Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
