Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
