I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
