i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
