hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
