feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
