On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
