Me. At least after what I've been through.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
