I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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