You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
