Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
