Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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