Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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