I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
