well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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