I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize