New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
