peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
