you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize