I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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