Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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