i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They took my balls.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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