to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
